Saturday, October 26, 1968

Writing in this journal regularly becomes increasingly more challenging as time continues. The single major reason is simply lack of time. And beginning with today available time will decrease even more, also cutting into scripture study time, because we are moving out of Allen Hall into the Lund's Motel at 250 South University Avenue. That means a long walk twice a day. Estimated time to breakfast is 30 minutes. A day's schedule is already full without all the footwork added. Our schedule now:

6:00 levantar, comer [get up, eat]
7:30 reunião da zona [zone meeting]
8:00 aula [class]
10:00 retenção [retention]
11:00 aula
12:30 comer
1:00 aula
4:00 aula de proseletismo [proselyting class]
5:00 gym
6:00 comer
7:00 retenção
10:30 deitar [go to bed]

Wednesday, October 23, 1968

Not many days remain before we move into second level work. The first level is memorizing dialogues, learning grammar, and becoming generally familiar with the language. Second level means concentration on the six discussions.

President Palmer, just recently returned from the Korean Mission and now in BYU's department of Asian Studies, spoke to the combined zones this morning in leadership meeting. As the numbers increase each week in the Language Training Mission, the Social Hall where we meet becomes increasingly crowded. President Palmer continued the tradition of inspirational, informative, and uplifting talks. He chose as his theme the hymn "God Moves in a Mysterious Way," relating it to missionary work by appropriate experiences from his own life and missions.

October's weather here in Utah Valley is the best that could be asked for. The mountains east of Provo no longer retain their brilliant color, but the trees in the valley keep their leaves still. Autumn is a swirl of color. All nature shouts in subtle whisperings that there is a God, the Master Artist. Nights are crisp, afternoons warm. Traces of snow still cling to the top of Timpanogos in the hazy distance. The world can be such a beautiful place.

Monday, October 21, 1968

Prayer is the choice opportunity to reach above the level of the mundane into higher realms. Someone once said that a man is greatest on his knees. This is true if he is really communicating with the Light above him, honestly confessing inadequacies and the necessity of reliance upon the Lord, humbly acknowledging the hand of God in all things. As such prayer is growth.

Today I noticed that zone, district, and private prayers number about 15 a day. My biggest challenge is trying to avoid the trite, the empty, and the insincere. Of course, limited vocabulary restricts that which I can express in Portuguese when that is necessary, but I guess the Lord hears the heart, not just the words.

Last evening following sacrament meeting our district repaired to Elder Welch's home for home evening. He is a fantastic man with a terrific wife. Elder Burr and his girl also attended. After Elder Welch's comments on how to get along with companions, a testimony meeting followed. Everybody participated. Such moments in life as this, when an entire group can draw together in brotherhood and united in faith, make me realize the multiplicity of blessings I enjoy. The Holy Ghost’s influence touched our hearts and spirits.

Sister Welch had baked pies for refreshments. They were great. It was somewhat after 10:30 before we returned to Allen Hall.

Sunday, October 20, 1968

The third week is over now and we will soon be moving into the fourth. The rate at which time flies is simply unbelievable. This morning I gave my first talk in Portuguese, a two-and-a-half-minute one for Sunday School. I spoke briefly, very briefly, about the first principles and ordinances of the gospel. Elder Welch, our morning professor, attended just to hear it. Already I understand almost all that is going on in the meetings now.

My pen kept quite busy this weekend. I wrote letters to Ray and Sheryl congratulating them on their marriage, to Jerry, to my wonderful parents, to Karen, to Brian Rabe, to Mark Smith, and to Dave Hart. That is enough for quite a few days.

Right now my scripture reading has me in the gospel of Luke and in Third Nephi, both great books because they share insights into the life of Christ. I have within the past year developed a hungry appetite for reading the scriptures. I have found no better instruction manuals for finding happiness and excellence in life.

I have written very little on these pages concerning my companion, Elder Rencher. It will soon be three weeks we have been together, and I am developing a great love for him, and we are growing together. At first his loudness came to my notice, but my quiet disposition soon learned that acceptance was necessary if the remaining weeks here were to be tolerable. Sometime later I saw his discouragement showing through and was told by our professors to love and encourage him. I have prayed extensively for guidance in doing my best in this area. Already I feel efforts are paying off. Friday evening we prayed together alone for the first time after a particularly trying and discouraging week. In district prayer we were a little too light of heart, and Elder Rencher finally spoke some words of rebuke. We all felt bad. It was after all this that the two of us communed with heaven. He acted as mouth. For that experience together I am grateful.

The Portuguese zone received 28 more new missionaries Friday evening. The traditional welcome was extended.

Following sacrament meeting, in which Elder Welch spoke, the district called two taxis to go to Elder Welch’s trailer home for home evening.

Saturday, October 19, 1968

I wrote this letter to my brother Jerry:

Only three months ago today was my 19th birthday. How clearly I remember that day. But what is remarkable is the continued growth I have experienced since then. The mantle of a great responsibility has been placed upon my shoulders. Ten years ago this very month you experienced a similar thing and know of what I speak.

The vastness of the Lord's work in South America is overwhelming: The stone Daniel saw is now filling the whole earth. The longer I live the more firmly I am convinced that the Savior's return is drawing closer and closer. So many signs have been given, including the gospel being preached in all the world. The elect are being gathered because the sheep know the voice of their Shepherd (and of His authorized servants) and are responding. We are all so blessed to be able to live in this part of this dispensation, a dispensation in which things are being revealed that have never before been revealed since the earth's beginning. Time is growing so short. Even now we are instructed not to take more than three weeks with an investigator. This week we were told that a time would come when six discussions would take too long and the elders could only stand on the streets to declare their message and bear their testimony. Yes, time is short.

This week in leadership meeting Steven Covey, assistant to President Wilkinson and formerly Irish Mission president, addressed us. His hour with us was a truly great experience. At the beginning of every leadership meeting the missionaries sing the opening hymn in their respective languages, meaning six languages all at once. That really sounds interesting.

Next Thursday or Friday we are moving out of Allen Hall into a hotel somewhere in Provo. The address will be the same though. It will probably mean more money but that depends upon where we move. I am going to pay all expenses here in just one check before leaving at Christmastime. Those bits of extra money I have, or assume I have, will really help.

Continue your wonderful letters. I really appreciate them. Thanks (obrigado).

Tomorrow morning I have one of the 2½-minute talks in Sunday School in Portuguese. The other night I finally was called on to give a closing prayer in front of the whole zone, also in Portuguese.

Grow closer to the Lord, Jerry, and He will direct your paths to your own best good. I can testify personally of that. I think most Church members don't really understand it, but if we expect to be in the celestial kingdom hereafter we must be charting a course here and now that leads toward perfection and becoming worthy to see the Savior and, through faith and repentance and His divine grace, becoming completely free of the sins of the world. The day of this life is the time to prepare to meet God, teaches the Book of Mormon. This life, not the next.

I thank you for all you have given me and mean to me. If only I can partly repay the debt. May God bless you.

Thursday, October 17, 1968

Today my brother Ray was married in the Logan Temple to Sheryl Crandall. I pray for their every happiness together. By coincidence I met a Pearl Smith, who was cashier in the breakfast line, who knows him quite well. I have heard Ray speak of her.

Since we have been eating in the Wilkinson Center it becomes difficult not to run into people I knew from school last year. This week I have chatted ever so briefly with Bob Elliott, Dwight Inoiye, Dave Hasse, Earl Cleverly, Dorothy Pack, Linda Kunz, Bob Jackson, Joanne Yalovich, and others whose names fail me. Wilma Atkins, who I ran into in the bookstore, is going to Nampa this weekend for Ray’s reception and asked for any message she could take home. At yesterday's leadership meeting I saw Elder Ballard and Elder LeSueur. Last Sunday evening at the eight-stake fireside I saw cousin Kent Palmer.

Today I gave my first prayer in Portuguese before the whole zone.

Wednesday, October 16, 1968

Stephen R. Covey, former president of the Irish Mission and now assistant to President Wilkinson at BYU, spoke this morning in leadership meeting. He spoke on human influence as related to preaching the gospel. He had us copy down the following chart:

Conditioning experiences > Point of view, attitude > Behavior

Negative
Criticism, judgment, rejection > Freezes point of view > Defensive, hostile

Positive
Light, understanding, acceptance > Open, teachable, unfreezes > Change, improve

We are expected to become a light, not a judge. We should not compare people but accept each individual as they are—meaning an unconditional love, or charity, the pure love of Christ. And in prayer we should not just talk but learn to listen. Effective prayer should be two-way communication.

Tonight in retention I played piano for the opening song. Elder Rencher conducted the music.

Tuesday, October 15, 1968

I realized today that I am not as close to the Lord as I should be. A high degree of spirituality is lacking, not only with myself but with the district generally. As a district we have decided this. This can lead to several immediate and specific disastrous results. Without the Lord's aid we cannot adequately acquire the language. Without the Lord’s Spirit I am not becoming more of a disciple of Christ. Without more of the Spirit it becomes difficult to influence others for good and to love others fully. The list could continue, but I feel it is obvious that continuing on this plane could only prove disastrous. My prayers are going to have to ascend more earnestly, from the depths of a grateful and humble heart. I will need to be more fully committed to my duties here. I will need to be more sharing in my love and service, especially towards my companion.

Letters today came from both Mom and Jerry. The one from Mom expressed a tremendous vote of confidence and love. She has recovered from her burns of a month ago and returned to work.

Monday, October 14, 1968

The beginning of the third week here in the Language Training Mission offered no particular problems. I think maybe the worst has passed. At least I do not expect any more discouragement to bother me in the near future. The district has a goal of speaking five from 6:00 A.M. today to 11:00 A.M. Saturday (gym hour excepted), with Tuesday for speaking six, or absolutely no English. Another challenge is spending a minimum of three hours a week with the scriptures.

During proselyting class this afternoon we moved into a fascinating discussion of perfection. It led me afterwards into the scriptures to do research on the subject. In a short while I found 11 passages in the Doctrine and Covenants talking about being able to see the Lord in this life. Some in the class were not aware that such a level of perfection was possible in this life. They could not conceive of a person remaining sinless. Last year I moved into a greatly enlarged understanding and appreciation of this and related principles. The Lord commanded us to become perfect, and He does not give commandments that He does not provide a way in which they can be accomplished.

Another letter came today from Karen. Her letters inspire me. I find no way in which the letters from her detract from my efforts here, as some elders seem to experience. My life would be very different without her.

Sunday, October 13, 1968

Yesterday during morning class Elder Burr, our afternoon professor, interviewed everybody in the district personally for a few moments. He wanted to know generally how we felt we were doing and how we were getting along. Elder Welch did the same last week.

Following class Elder Rencher and I walked downtown, where I bought a pair of shoes on sale at Penney's and also a pair of slacks. I saved four dollars on the shoes. We came back just in time to go up to the Wilkinson Center for lunch. Starting Saturday morning we began eating there rather than Amanda Knight Hall. The food is better, utensils clean, more food, the environment has more class. The only complaint is the walk, but the exercise will be good. Most of the afternoon we spent watching Wyoming beat BYU in football 20-17. BYU lead much of the game—it was sad.

Today was fast Sunday. In testimony meeting I played the piano. This evening we attended the BYU Eight-Stake Fireside in the Fieldhouse. President N. Eldon Tanner spoke. He mentioned the great value of a good and honorable name, the necessity of not selling honesty for a dime, the importance of personal responsibility. He spoke of his childhood home in Canada. He delivered a blessing and expression of love from the Prophet. He explained the necessity and value of real prayer. It was a great talk, one which moved me back into the spirit of missionary work, for earlier in the evening we were a little too light of spirit.

Friday, October 11, 1968

This evening we welcomed around 25 new elders into the Portuguese zone, giving them the same rousing welcome accorded us two weeks ago. Our district was assigned two of the novos specifically—an Elder Goddard and an Elder Gessel. The latter was the one we (my companion and I) took under wing. I introduced him in the zone meeting. He is from near Logan.

Groups of similar size will be arriving the next two Fridays. In about that much time we older missionaries will be moving out of Allen Hall into different hotels in town. Things are becoming crowded.

At the end of the second week in the language mission, things generally appear brighter. Portuguese does not seem such an impossible barrier and time seems to be going even faster. Yesterday I offered a short prayer in Portuguese at the beginning of class, the first to do so in the district. It was by assignment from Elder Welch, our morning professor. He said it would be a good example since I was "bishop" this week. The bishop is the one who assigns all prayers to be given in the district. In meetings I am beginning to pick up more.

Thursday, October 10, 1968

Truman G. Madsen, speaking this morning in leadership meeting, unfolded precious insights concerning the life and mission of the Prophet Joseph Smith. It was his earnest witness that Jesus Christ could be seen clearer in the person of Joseph Smith than in any other man who has lived on the earth. He told us about the Prophet’s weaknesses and sins, not wanting to make him inhuman and impossible to identify with, but told us how he grew into perfection before the Lord. Brother Madsen cast him in his role as a missionary—one we not usually think of him as playing—and indicated ways in which we could follow suit. As with Christ, Joseph never argued with an enemy. As with Christ, he had a great ability to love and was filled with compassion towards those who would not heed the gospel message.

Love for the Prophet surged through me as Brother Madsen bore his testimony that, except for Christ, Joseph was the greatest of all the prophets of all dispensations. I had heard this before (and Doctrine and Covenants 135:3 talks about it), but never before had I understood with either head or heart. Now I do a little better. Oh to be able someday in the eternities to be worthy to share in the greatness of his company and friendship. Sections 121 and 122 of the Doctrine and Covenants relate to Joseph and have long been favorite passages of mine. Reading them again this afternoon in more meaningful light was a special treat.

Classes are generally routine. Today I offered, by assignment, the first prayer in our district in Portuguese.

A short note came from Jerry saying he returned to Nampa safely.

Tuesday, October 8, 1968

A new elder added to our district caused a change of companions and room assignments. Elder Dickson moved into our room to make it crowded with four instead of three. He is assigned to Elder Kletting as a companion. That means only Elder Rencher and I are companions now. That makes life easier. A lot of bending is required when three companions must stick together.

Starting yesterday we are required to pay five cents every time we speak in English in class (unless express permission is granted). Thus far I have not had to pay. The collected money will eventually go toward a pizza for the district. We are also requested to speak as much Portuguese as we know (speak five) from 6:00 A.M. to 10:00 P.M., with the exception of the gym hour. To speak five, or fale cinco, is a program requiring use of all the vocabulary we have acquired. Tomorrow our district is going to try to speak six, meaning absolutely no English.

A letter came from Jerry today. He spent the past weekend in Salt Lake City attending conference.

Sunday, October 6, 1968

The final sessions of the 138th semi-annual general conference of the Church are now only history. The messages and inspiration today were equally as moving and impressive as those yesterday. President McKay attended the morning session, but upon the advice of physicians he watched the afternoon session from his apartment. His son delivered his closing address. To be remembered is the blessing he pronounced on the membership of the Church.

Among the themes emphasized during the conference was one of a more temporal nature—opposition to liquor-by-the-drink, which will be decided at the polls in Utah next month. Many of the Brethren mentioned it, and President McKay reemphasized his statement in opposition of last May.

I found time during the day to study the second and third discussions for proselyting class, write a brief letter to Bob Russell, read Matthew, and such as this. I studied no Portuguese. Tomorrow that begins again.

From Joseph Smith this treasure: "All I can offer the world is a good heart and a good hand" (Teachings, 313).

In sacrament meeting it is surprising how much I am beginning to pick up.

Saturday, October 5, 1968

In preparation for general conference, our district elected to fast two meals today—breakfast and lunch—to put us on a spiritual plane more receptive to the messages, instructions, and themes of the conference. This will be our last conference for two years. We met together last night to dedicate our fast to these purposes.

The three session of conference we participated in today were exceedingly worth every effort involved. The Spirit was present in such abundance that the messages were received in the heart. My soul was filled, my heart overflowing with gratitude, my mind and body subdued, and my whole being in tune with God. Anyone with any degree of spiritual awareness or sensitivity could not honestly resist the testimonies offered. Both words and song added to the spiritual feast.

We watched both general sessions here in the chapel of Allen Hall. For the priesthood session this evening we went to the Fieldhouse, where the meeting was relayed by closed-circuit television. During the late afternoon Elder Rencher, Elder Kletting, and I went to the BYU Bookstore. During the day I also laundered, wrote Karen, and wrote home. A letter came from Karen.

Friday, October 4, 1968

Yesterday we missed considerable amounts of time in the classroom. Leadership meeting cut short retention by 20 minutes and eliminated an hour of class. Because it ran late, we lost another half hour of class in the afternoon. Elder Ostergar met with us in the afternoon to assign new districts and again during retention for 45 minutes to further instruct the new missionaries. Moving into new quarters was limited to the sports hour just before dinner, preventing any physical activity there.

A letter came yesterday from Jerry. All seems to be well on the home front. Cheryl is back from Germany already, although he said nothing about Kimberley.

The daily schedule begins at 6:00 A.M. sharp. Zone meeting at 6:40 prefaces breakfast. Classroom work begins at 8:00 and continues until 10:00. Retention in the chapel takes an hour at 10:00, followed by another hour in class. At 1:00 P.M. class resumes, ending at 3:50, fol-lowed by proselyting class for an hour. Gym takes from 5:00 to 6:00. Retention begins again at 7:00 and ends at 10:00. Lights are out at 10:30. That is the skeleton around which the day is built.

Tonight during retention, while we were in conversation with a native Brazilian, some visitors dropped into our room for a few moments. We later found out they were stake and ward leaders from the São Paulo Stake up for general conference. This is Brazil’s only organized stake.

Thursday, October 3, 1968

Every Friday we are required to submit a weekly progress report, indicating the amount of individual study time beyond classroom work in both the scriptures and with the language. Also the amount or rate of our progress. One a 1-to-5 scale we indicate our effort in speaking the language during the week and what we intend to speak during the next week. To "speak five" is to make every effort to use all the vocabulary that we have learned. On the back of this report is a letter to President Wilkins2 about whatever we desire, including likes and dislikes, suggestions and comments.

The general conference of the Church convened this morning in Salt Lake City with President David O. McKay presiding and attending the morning session. Classes prevented our participation.

Tonight in retention we were shown two films, one narrated in English about Rio de Janeiro and a second in Portuguese about Uruguay. Before and between the films we heard various types of music associated with Brazil. This brief diversion was a welcome respite from studying. Since there is no proselyting class on Friday, Elder Rencher and I went to the bookstore, and I showed him around the campus somewhat. He attended Ricks College last year.

We learned a testimony about Joseph Smith today.

Wednesday, October 2, 1968

Today was an interesting day. We attended our first leadership meeting, were assigned to our permanent districts, and gained new companions.

Leadership meeting is held every Wednesday at 11:00 A.M. in Knight Mangum Hall with some speaker before the combined zones of the mission. The scheduled speaker did not show up, so missionaries who were recent converts were called up to speak. After a few of these, the speaker did arrive (she had been lost on campus and could not find Knight Mangum Hall) and presented her interesting story. Sister Davies had been a nun in the Catholic Church for 33 years, which included several years working directly with the Pope. In 1967 she was introduced to and embraced Mormonism. Her testimony and the story of her conversion were most inspiring. Since she was late, everything, including lunch and classes, were behind about half an hour.

This afternoon all the new missionaries in the zone were called out of classes into a meeting with Elder Allen Ostergar, the zone counselor. Permanent districts were assigned. I am now in the Marília District with an Elder Nelson as district leader. My new companions are Elder Craig Rencher and Elder Richard Kletting. Still a threesome because of an odd number of elders. How lucky can I be? At least I did not have to move out of room 34. Elders Babbel and Gale are still in the same district with me.

Tuesday, October 1, 1968

I did not realize until this evening that it was already October. I cannot believe how quickly time slips away. In what will seem a flash the next 27 months will race by, bringing both joy and sadness. The joy in being reunited with loved ones, the sadness in leaving a life completely dedicated to love and service and growth.

This afternoon during the free hour, while my companions played football, I read The Book of Mormon: Key to Conversion by Glenn L. Pearson. It was just a small book. The thesis was that everything we declare to the world and all arguments against the Church depend on whether the Book of Mormon is true or not. If it is, then Joseph Smith is a prophet, the Church is led by revelation today, and all that we claim falls into line. The gospel cannot be "proven." Knowledge concerning spiritual things can come only from God. And that is why we are not going out to prove by the sophistries of men but to declare by the power of the Spirit.

By now I feel somewhat better about my meager gains in understanding Portuguese. I realize though that we have not even really scratched the surface. It will be interesting.